How to Prepare for Marriage
There are several things you can do right now in preparation for your future life in marriage. With or without a serious relationship, it matters not. If you start preparing early, the transition will be easier for you.
Below are five steps that will put you on the right track:
Look into your habits.
Do you have any habits which you suspect might bring conflict to your relationship with your future spouse? Maybe you like to leave your dirty laundry everywhere, or maybe you have problems managing your finances. If you’re not sure which habits you may have to change, ask your closest family members or friends to help you. Allow them to be candid though, not fearing that you will be offended. Improve your conflict resolution approach. Take advantage of your single years in terms of defining your conflict resolution style and adjusting it where necessary. Think of the last two or three conflicts you’ve encountered. How did you handle them? What do you think could you have done differently?
Be more accepting of yourself.
Nobody’s perfect, even you, so learn to be more lighthearted about yourself and your mistakes. Start with your minor faux pas, like never learning to pronounce certain words right or always losing your car keys. Instead of berating yourself, half a good laugh about it and move on. Accepting yourself 100% is not only liberating but quite attractive too.
Find servanthood opportunities.
The best marriages are those where spouses are happy to sacrifice for each other and forget their own needs for the other. During your single years, start cultivating a sense of servanthood. Search for ways to serve your church or local community. This could mean volunteering to babysit for single mom, driving an elderly neighbor to a friend’s house, or participating in your church’s outreach programs. With servanthood being an everyday part of your life now, you will be prepared for it in marriage later on.
Have a friend inventory.
Finally, know that it’s important to have a support system that encourages you to become a good spouse later on. With a simple friendship inventory, you will know if you have such people in your life. Start by asking yourself three questions. One, do they value marriage? Two, are they respect their opposite gender? Three, are they honest enough to tell you my flaws? They may not see themselves from this perspective. If you ask them to encourage you in specific areas of your life, they may be happy to oblige. Bear in mind that it’s alright to select your friends. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to surround yourself with people who will help you become a better person.